Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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