Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
