he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
All the doctor said was why
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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