Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
