I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
