My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
