I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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