He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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