Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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