i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
