I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
