And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
