piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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