so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am available for nakedness
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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