so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
