cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
