He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
worst night to have a conscience
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
