Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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