sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
