Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
