IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
