i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
