i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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