okay pat passed out under dana's car
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
