Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
