my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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