And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
