Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
