Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
