Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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