he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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