Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
