He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
