Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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