Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
