They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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