yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
