the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
