im six kinds of drunk right now
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I could fuck to npr.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
