my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
