Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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