I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
there is glitter all over my balls
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