dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
