1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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