Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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