at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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