All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
as a side note pls kill me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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