break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Couch. On fire.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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