i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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