dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
