That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
